This Was Something I Did Not Know About The Miscarriage Until I Had To Go Through One!!

That was unfateful birthday evening. I was happy and was just ready to go out and celebrate my birthday before we welcome two more new lives in our family. Yes, I was pregnant with twin babies. It was all going well until I went to the washroom. As I got up from the chamber pot I was shocked to see myself bleeding. I started crying and shouting for my husband. As he came to the restroom he just could not understand what to do. He was shocked too. And we lost one of the twins. A few days later we lost the other one too.

It was all so painful. Not only the loss but the questions and the kind of condolence I received after that day worked as salt on the wounds. It went to the level that people said it is okay as I still have two living kids.

It was difficult for others to understand the feeling and love I had for these two lives I was nurturing inside me. There were faiths and visions that we had with these babies. And people thought that with the words of sympathy it would ease my pain.

 

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This is for the mother’s just like me:

Nothing said will comfort you and I can say nothing more than sorry. Sorry for what you are going through as it is deeper than you can explain to anyone around.

The emotions swing between their highest and lowest. You feel as a rock for a moment and the very next minute you are full of all the emotions you never even thought of.

What I am writing is something I wished to hear when I was going through this. Don’t let the if’s and but’s surround you. It is not your mistake. Don’t get yourself into that vicious circle. Put a full stop to such thoughts.

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Whenever something good or bad happens we try to see who is behind that. It is a human tendency. With this happening to you, you want someone to bear the burden. And the easiest person you find to blame is yourself. But be compassionate with yourself. It is not your mistake.

But people will still come to you and say nasty things. Though they might have good intentions it is just that their words do not match. Learn to close your eyes to them.

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Then you will another set of people coming to you. They won’t offer you advices but will try and show you sympathy by lending a helping hand with daily chores. It is okay to allow them to help and give yourself a little rest. Remember not only your body but your soul needs healing time too. If you are healthy again, both emotionally and physically you will be back to life soon.

The biggest hurdle we face when trying to overcome any problem is: to accept the problem exists. So, once you accept that something wrong has happened, your mind and body will try to vent out the sorrow by various ways like crying, screaming, eating, sleeping etc. in varied degrees. It is okay to let all this happen because slowly it is all going to settle down with time.

 

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You might know and have heard it many times. But still I want to repeat it here for you, so it sticks with you for long. The biggest healer is time. It heals the deepest wounds too. Allow time to heal this one also for you.

With time, you will find other little things taking priority. You will have some episode that will make you laugh and smile again. Allow them to happen to you. Time will help you create more memories and this one will take a back step. And then you will realize that life goes on, with some good and some bad memories.

 

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Even if nobody else is compassionate to you, at least you be to yourself. Tell your heart, mind and body every day that:

This was not my mistake.

This was not my mistake.

This was not my mistake.

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If you or any of your lovely friend out there is struggling with miscarriage, please SHARE this and spread a little hope in their life.

For more from Kristina Kuzmic visit KirstinaKuzmic.com and Facebook